*I will always make time for you
*I love you
*I care about you
*You can talk to me about anything
*You can always come to me for any reason
*What we talk about stays between us
*Is there something I can do for you right now?
*Do you want to talk about your feelings?
*I can hear how sad you’re feeling, so how can I help you to feel better?
*What do you need right now?
I was thinking, and this popped in my head so I wrote it down. This time last year I had my suicide planned out. I had it planned even before then. And I told the people closest to me what my plan was. Some people replied, and some didn’t. I didn’t need a reply…I was just being informative.
I know that no one knows what to say when put on the spot like that. I was venting to a friend a month or so ago and she asked me “Well, what did you expect people to say?” I was perplexed. I said “Honestly, I don’t know. I didn’t want people to beg and plead with me to stay. I was just giving a heads up. But some people responded and what they chose to say in the moment really hurt me.” She told me “People don’t know what to say so you can’t get upset at what they do say when you drop something like this in their lap.”
I get it. It’s about a year and a half since I dropped the metaphorical bomb in certain people’s laps. And I won’t lie. I still struggle with certain responses and am turning to my faith to work through the hurt that I still feel. Only time will tell about that.
However, like I said, I was thinking…”What WOULD I want someone to say to me if I were in that situation again?” That’s when I came up with the sentences above. Some may seem redundant but they aren’t. We don’t want you to beg and plead. We don’t want silence as though our feelings are not valid. We don’t want you to ignore our “plan” and focus on the time we have until we pull the plug. We don’t really want to die. We want the hurt to stop. WE WANT EMPATHY. WE WANT SUPPORT. WE WANT TO NOT FEEL ALONE.
PLEASE SHARE this if you think it may help someone. And feel free to add a statement that you think a suicidal person would want to hear. Thanks for reading.
-Jessica Ann Age