How I Got Started
I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder at 16, earlier than most doctors are willing to diagnose. I was really suffering but no one knew how to help me. I was constantly irritable, angry, and emotional; I resorted to self-injury and self-medicating to numb the anger, guilt, and shame.
I wanted so badly to be a kind, joyful, loving person, but I felt like I couldn’t control myself. My family had been torn apart in their attempts to help, control, or change the concerning behaviors they were seeing. They sent me to doctor after doctor, therapist after therapist, inpatient and outpatient treatment. Eventually I went to college, but I was still in this cycle of destruction and pain and felt like there was no hope left.
The week after graduating from college, I should have been looking forward to my future. Instead, I was planning to end my life.
But this was not to be. Right as I was preparing to end my own suffering in the worst way, I met someone who changed my entire life in ways I could not have imagined. This person was an EXPERT on everything BPD-related, and knew just what I was struggling with. I was given treatment resources, started medication and Dialectical Behavior Therapy, and began building a support system. I learned what the BPD brain does when it’s having an “episode.” I learned what the research was saying about the illness and the recovery rates. I learned what type of skill to use in every situation.
I recovered, and I survived, all because of one person who recognized what I was going through and showed me the tools I needed to get better.
And most importantly of all, I learned that people truly cared enough to help me find a new way of life. I learned that there is hope.
I can now wake up each morning, excited about my day and ready to be a wife, a daughter, and an independent woman.
Since my recovery, I’ve devoted my life to those people who are lost and hopeless like I was. One person who cares, who knows what you’re going through, and who can help you learn the tools to change your life, is all it takes. Someone to call when you’re in crisis, a shoulder to lean on for support and encouragement, and a teacher to give you and your loved ones the skills to build the life you never dreamed was possible with mental illness.